It was spring, outside a
fire station, he lifted my school skirt, thirteen and new it all felt
wild but soft, as soon as his hands worked under the cotton i was meek
and incoherent, the more you learn the less wild it gets, the less soft,
but what takes it’s place is something altogether more amazing. I was just over 15 and had been dating a 16 year-old boy for about 10
days. I need to point out from the beginning that I had no idea we were
going to have sex until the second we did. So he invited me to his place
and I was thinking “great, we’re having pizza, this is so nice”. Then
we started kissing and I was thinking “we’re kissing now, that’s so
cool!”. Then we started to undress and I was thinking “well, we’re definitely undressing, but I’m sure we’ll just stop there”. And then we
were naked under the covers, and I thought “OK, so now what?”. He
stayed under there for a while (I later found out that he was figuring
out how to use a condom and that he was also a virgin) and then we had
sex. It hurt a bit and I bled a lot. I didn’t really like it at that
time. Afterwards, i remember saying “I was expecting to feel really
different, but I don’t.” Luckily, sex got a lot better later on.
we had been kissing for a while, probably an hour or so, with lots of
vodka and cigarettes in between that he had been feeding me which made
me take trips to the toilet a lot, stumbling over the floor and laughing
innocently about it. i wasn’t really used to the taste of both as i had
just started experimenting with everything and his tongue tasted of
strong tobacco but i remember the smokey room almost like a cloud with a
dim yellow light…with a harsher white light from a laptop in the
corner. we eventually started to undress and this is where my memory is
unclear. but i remember lying back on the bed, him trying to give me
head and i was hard for all of about 2 minutes and then soft because i
was so drunk, i think he ended up flaccid too but he was happy to be
putting the attention on me, trying to revive my penis. i looked at the
clock and decided i needed to go home. in the end i didn't cum.
I was 17 and quite impatient to loose my virginity. I was
going out with a guy at the time. One night we were messing around in
his car, I saw a condom and handed it to him, with a cheeky smile. He
didn’t hesitate and opened it. I remember looking really carefully while
he was putting it on, quite fascinated by his nonchalance. In the
meantime all i could think was ” Oh my god, it’s happening, it’s
happening, it’s happening…”
I then opened my legs and he laid on top of me. Probably
because I was really nervous, I felt lots of pain, kind of like a needle
stinging my inside. So i asked him to stop but he ignored me, probably
didn’t hear me? I don’t know. At first I wanted him to stop but then I
thought that it’d be better to get it over with. Good thing is, it
didn’t last too long :). On the way back we didn’t really talk. I was
quite happy for “growing up” in a way.
We broke up four months later and i was devastated. Shortly
after that, we became occasional fuck buddies. Then i got a boyfriend so
we just stayed friends. Now he has a girlfriend so maybe he doesn’t
feel it’s appropriate for us to be friends. I don’t know, I dame care.
Anonymous asked: Our head rep in halls (1st yr, Day 3/4) had brought
with him his friend who, like him, was also in fourth year, bit older
so that boded well for me. I decided then and there that i would be the
one he'd flirt with although that was as far as I would have thought.
The night progressed, I was undone by drink and in a swift blur I'm in
my still strange bed with this heavy man on top of me I panicked and
tensed, it was painful. It was foolish, he took my virginity but he was
not my first lover.